Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing. – Mother Teresa

Archive for the ‘Seed Planter’ Category

My Identity is in Him


I tend to be a people-pleaser. It is a daily struggle for me. Although I am very much a “keep it real” kind of gal … it is still always in the back of my mind that I need to please people and I want everyone to like me. Unfortunately, not everyone will like me… or like every decision I make, and that’s ok. I have to tell myself that all the time.. “IT IS OKAY!”
I am almost 50 years old… well I’m 48 (no need to rush it ūüėČ and I am always concerned about what people think of me and if they like me. Guess what?… it doesn’t matter!.. my identity is in Christ. I can rest in the security that I am who HE says I am,
not what others want me to be or expect from me.
In the past few years, I have begun to try to pray about all decisions Victor and I make. We make our decisions together and don’t usually rush into them.
If we feel led by God to do something, we do it. It is important to me to please God more than anything. Sometimes this means having to say no to other things… Even though in my heart I know my Identity is in Him, I still struggle with the thought I may disappoint someone if I can not fulfill what they want or need as well (usually its what they WANT not necessarily a real need) … Which brings me to my next point, YOU CAN NEVER PLEASE EVERYONE … SO QUIT TRYING so hard! I have to say this to myself!
God intentionally places certain people in our lives, I truly believe that… and I have noticed I am surrounded by close friends that tell me, “quit worrying about that… you can’t make everyone happy.” Thanks God – for putting those people in my life.

I don’t pretend to have it all together. Why? because I DON’T have it all together and that’s ok… guess what? No one does. The truth is we all fail, and we all fall short of the glory of God. We can be real with each other because none of us are perfect. As much as I “keep it real”, one of the most difficult things for me is trust. I have a lot of friendly acquaintances and friends, but I don’t share most of my personal life with many people. I don’t trust many people, and its mainly from past hurts. Its important to me to have a trusted circle of friends that I can turn to during times I need prayer and times I may just need a friend. But I am learning that it is also important to share my story. Telling our story is how God uses us to help others and to glorify Him. It is hard to do, but the more I pray about finding my identity in Him, I feel him leading me to share something about myself with another person when they need to hear it. I am still prudent and not public, but open to sharing if led to do so. It may help them, its not always for me to know. But what I do know is this, he wants me to share with others, and not worry about what others think, and rest in the security that my identity is in Him.



I believe with all my heart that to truly find peace in our hearts¬†we must forgive each other, from those we love¬†to those we don’t even know. We must also forgive ourselves and turn our sin over to Christ.

Holding on to hurt, sin, and grudges does nothing but cause bitterness in our hearts.

We all have situations that are easier for us to forgive than others. For me … I can forgive when someone has hurt me, but if someone hurts my kids, my husband or my best friend… LOOK OUT ! I have a fierce heart for defending those I love. However, I need to make sure that when I do defend those I love, I am not forgetting about forgiveness.

I get angry when someone cast stones at those I love when they have done wrong… again… I move in to defend anyone that I care for… saying things like no one is perfect… and they aren’t ! Also saying, it could happen to anyone, and it could ! No one is above this happening in their family, no one has a right to cast stones, and they don’t ! Of course there must be¬†accountability but also love and forgiveness.

So what do I do when its someone I don’t know but hear about?… do I cast stones? I hope not…. I hope I never do it again if I have ever condemned them¬†… whatever someone has done.. that person has a mother, a father,¬†maybe a son or daughter, maybe brothers and¬†sisters that all¬†need to be¬†prayed for. That person is a human capable of mistakes and we must remember that so are we … and pray for God to cover them in¬†forgiveness, mending their hearts and helping them through their situation.

– Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.Col 3: 12-14


My Pride and Joy

My kids are all grown up. I can’t believe it ! Somedays I miss them being here, but we are lucky because they both live within 15 minutes of us.

I’ve always heard of people having a hard time being empty-nesters… but we are loving it. We do whatever we want! We have had structure and schedules coming out of our ears since the day we had babies and we started off our marriage with a baby which was amazing but sometimes difficult.

It is so great to not have so many commitments and just be spontaneous. We are best friends and that makes it even better. Sometimes we eat breakfast for dinner, we watch tv in our underwear… in the living room !!! We come and go when we feel like it…. for dinner, a movie, anything we want to do without worrying about the kids. Its really great.  Of course we still see the kids every week… and I actually text with each one of them daily… but having a clean guest bathroom all the time is the bomb-digity!

We really love this new stage of life we are in.  The seasons we have been through have all been great, but this one may be more special to us because we never really had time alone together at the beginning of our marriage. Shelby was 14 months old when we married. Yes, that’s right, we have a love child. Then we had Sawyer a year and 1/2 after we married. The kiddos are 2 1/2 years apart. It was fun raising them close together.  We were very involved in all of their extra curricular activities and school too. I was a girl scout leader and coached cheerleading and Victor coached hockey. We went to every play, game, open house, awards assembly, banquet, and we had amazing birthday parties!!! Our kids were loved and they knew it.  We sacrificed financially so I could be home with them afterschool everyday.  It was the right thing to do for our family.

We have been together for 24 years and married for almost 22 years … we have had ups and downs like any couple and stood by eachother through the good and the bad. We are so blessed with our beautiful babies that are both now grown up. We did our best as parents and I look forward to being a grandparent… someday… but for now… its me and Vic time… and we are loving it !

The Kiss of a Lifetime

The Kiss of a Lifetime

My World

My World

Vic & Steph

Vic & Steph

I did, I do

I did, I do

To Scatter or to Sow

To Scatter or to Sow… that is the question.

Sowing or Scattering seeds of love means to me¬†loving all of God’s people and being an example.¬†As I do my¬†best to live¬†my life to¬†glorify Jesus, I feel¬†it also means, when at all possible,¬†to plant a seed of love in someone and let God harvest that person in His time.

I felt that since I had recently titled a¬†blog post ” A Mere Seed Planter” that “Sowing the Seeds of Love” was a cool and clever new title for my Blog…. (My old blog was called Stephology¬†and I decided that sounded and¬†probably was a little self-focused.¬†It was meant to be sort of catchy since the blog was by me.)¬† ¬†Funny thing…¬† “Sowing the Seeds of Love” came to me … I then got this old¬†song stuck in my head… “Sowing the Seeds of Love” by Tears for Fears… popular song in the late 80’s…. Any who, today¬†I decided to look up the lyrics… and WOW! ha… It is a very political song… and does not have the meaning I thought it did AT ALL… Funny/strange, and a little scary¬†how a song you sang as a kid or a young adult had little to no meaning to you,¬†yet you could sing it…

I stand for LOVE… pure and simple.¬†¬†I don’t get into political debates, and I don’t judge others… I do however, love my Lord and believe His Word.

The word “Scatter” seems to fit my personality better anyways. I am a little scattered myself… so how else to spread love by a scattered person than to “scatter” it.

Mere Seed Planter

Sometimes it’s about the little things. Smiling at someone or going a little out of my way for a person are both things that can make a difference in a person’s life. Sometimes I know what another person is going through and so I make a conscious effort to help, and other times I may not know the effect I can make on someone just by giving some love!
Sometimes I can make a difference in a child’s life by¬†purchasing a pair of prom shoes for her and taking her to lunch. Some days its to throw together a last-minute birthday party for a little girl who feels forgotten. Some days its to help one of my own kids solve a problem lovingly and let them know I find my peace in trusting God and they can too. Some days its to just listen to a friend that needs to be heard. Sometimes its to come up with something really funny to make someone laugh out loud that hasn’t had much to laugh about lately. The love in our hearts can be shared by our actions everyday.

In the past it has been hard for me to let go… actually, it’s still hard when it comes to my kids and even other children or friends. I not only want to plant a seed, but I have felt it my responsibility to impose protection and see it through to full harvest. I worry, become anxious and over-analyze what will happen and how I can help move things along in a positive way… I think because #1 I don’t like to leave anything unfinished, and #2 I like a happy ending.

I have found that in the place God has me right now, it is my job to plant a seed, and sometimes that’s it. Plant the seed.
Being a mere seed planter is an important job, and is actually a hard job sometimes too. I have to let go… I have to trust and have faith that the growth and harvest are happening in God’s time and that I may or may not be a part of that.
It’s far beyond my job description to actually grow the plant and harvest the fruits. I am a mere seed planter, and I take it seriously with all my heart.


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