Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing. – Mother Teresa

Archive for August, 2015

Landslide of changes

…Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
uhm.. hmm… I don’t know. uhm hmm.
Well, I’ve been afraid of changing
‘Cause I’ve built my life around you…
But time makes you bolder,
children get older,
And I’m getting older too…
I take my love, take it down.
I climb a mountain and turn around.
Thank You Stevie Nicks for expressing what is in my heart in a beautiful classic song, Landslide. I know you didn’t write these lyrics about children growing up, and all the changes that are going on in my life… you were so young when you wrote them… but never-the-less they are so expressive of my life right now.
My babies are grown up and have real jobs, real car payments, and will never be living with us under one roof again. {“children get older..”} I am so very proud of both of my babies and so excited for their futures… but knowing that times are changing is hard. My last 25 years has been dedicated to loving my children and “building my life around them” has left me feeling alittle strange. Victor and I LOVE being empty-nesters, but there is still a sadness for times gone by. {“can I handle the season’s of my life?”}
Changes are a part of life {“I’ve been afraid of changes”} and I always get really sentimental and emotional when I am going through major changes. I have recently made a huge career change as well. {“I climbed a mountain and I turned around”} I am so excited about it but fearful at the same time. The What-Ifs in life can really pull down an over-analyzer like me.
I start to over-analyze what am I to do at this stage in life. {“I’m getting older too”}
I have decided to invest my time in my Identity in Christ.. and not just in my being a mom and wife. {“oh mirror in the sky, what is love?”} I have decided to not worry so much about what other people think, and people-pleasing {“time makes you bolder”}.
I am going to enjoy our empty nest time and enjoy time together – we started off with babies so this is going to be a honeymoon!
Victor, lets go drive around on a summer night with the sun roof open and get a coke and listen to music – like we are kids again!
{“can the child within my heart rise above?”}
Yes !!!!! IMG_4757

My Identity is in Him

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I tend to be a people-pleaser. It is a daily struggle for me. Although I am very much a “keep it real” kind of gal … it is still always in the back of my mind that I need to please people and I want everyone to like me. Unfortunately, not everyone will like me… or like every decision I make, and that’s ok. I have to tell myself that all the time.. “IT IS OKAY!”
I am almost 50 years old… well I’m 48 (no need to rush it 😉 and I am always concerned about what people think of me and if they like me. Guess what?… it doesn’t matter!.. my identity is in Christ. I can rest in the security that I am who HE says I am,
not what others want me to be or expect from me.
In the past few years, I have begun to try to pray about all decisions Victor and I make. We make our decisions together and don’t usually rush into them.
If we feel led by God to do something, we do it. It is important to me to please God more than anything. Sometimes this means having to say no to other things… Even though in my heart I know my Identity is in Him, I still struggle with the thought I may disappoint someone if I can not fulfill what they want or need as well (usually its what they WANT not necessarily a real need) … Which brings me to my next point, YOU CAN NEVER PLEASE EVERYONE … SO QUIT TRYING so hard! I have to say this to myself!
God intentionally places certain people in our lives, I truly believe that… and I have noticed I am surrounded by close friends that tell me, “quit worrying about that… you can’t make everyone happy.” Thanks God – for putting those people in my life.

I don’t pretend to have it all together. Why? because I DON’T have it all together and that’s ok… guess what? No one does. The truth is we all fail, and we all fall short of the glory of God. We can be real with each other because none of us are perfect. As much as I “keep it real”, one of the most difficult things for me is trust. I have a lot of friendly acquaintances and friends, but I don’t share most of my personal life with many people. I don’t trust many people, and its mainly from past hurts. Its important to me to have a trusted circle of friends that I can turn to during times I need prayer and times I may just need a friend. But I am learning that it is also important to share my story. Telling our story is how God uses us to help others and to glorify Him. It is hard to do, but the more I pray about finding my identity in Him, I feel him leading me to share something about myself with another person when they need to hear it. I am still prudent and not public, but open to sharing if led to do so. It may help them, its not always for me to know. But what I do know is this, he wants me to share with others, and not worry about what others think, and rest in the security that my identity is in Him.

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